If I cannot fly, let me sing.

Oh, hello. Well, this is awkward. Cornify ( Click button for a unicorn because unicorns )

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english-american:

Canada: whispers it’s my birth…

America: JUST A REMINDER THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS IN THREE DAYS!!!

Canada: …day

(via a-very-smashing-girl)

how my mother works
me: mom i got all A's
mom:
me: mom i cleaned the whole house
mom:
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom:
mom: is this your cup on the table?
me: yes
mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight

thearcflash:

caseyanthonyofficial:

If the US wins the world cup yall have to start calling it soccer

If the US wins the World Cup it means every other team dropped out

(via canadacapaldi)

corgay:

the-blog-of-anne-frank:

I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry

oh my fucking god

(Source: itscalledfashionlookitup, via spendsleeplessnights)

tarzanna:

denimcladveggieburger:

deckitout:

deckitout:

MY LESBIAN GRANDMAS BOUGHT EACH OTHER THE SAME FLANNEL SHIRT FROM MACYS FOR CHRISTMAS IM CRYING

UPDATE: THEY BOTH AGREED ON NOT GIVING EACH OTHER GIFTS

AHH

YOU HAD ME AT LESBIAN GRANDMAS 

(via canadacapaldi)

naturalshocks:

flatsound:

apparently there’s an important episode of football on this weekend

image

(via canadacapaldi)

playbill:

Happy Birthday Richard Rodgers!

Legendary composer Richard Rodgers was born on June 28. Find out more about the composer of such classics as Oklahoma!, The Sound of Music, The King and I, Carousel, Babes in Arms and Pal Joey at PlaybillVault.com.

(via broadwaycrazy10)

eseona:

Classmate: You like anime? Gosh, why everybody loves this stupid thing?!? 

Me

I

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JUST 

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REALLY

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LIKE

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THE

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GOOD

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TOUGHTFUL

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STORIES

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AND

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DEEP

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EMOTIONS

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(And hot bishes - muttering to myself)

(via canadacapaldi)

unamusedsloth:

Full video here.

(via showtuna)

ghostykitten:

Is this what warrior cats is about

necromancer:

necromancer:

what should I put on the pizza I’m going to order?

idk I was thinking something like pepperoni 

(via whippingoutthedee)

averypottermormon:

animateglee:

oomshi:

the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both

Well it’s the Bible, not the Straightble, I’m just following the book.

I’M GONNA CRY

(via whippingoutthedee)

the-impaler:

iwasbornfartoolate:

Perfect

Ahhaha haha who says life isn’t theater? (Sssshh, let me believe…)

(via throughtheeyesofathespian)

disgustinghuman:

[sighs internally]

[sighs externally]

[sighs eternally]

(via broadwaydivaintraining)